Aaron wrote his grandfather’s obituary and epitaph, it turned into a longer and longer piece about grace in men and how culture rejects this notion. Because portions of this were included in a previously published newspaper piece, we are leaving it out of our zine and posting it here.  

Grace was lost on the male Trompels who were expected to do manual labor, carpentry, automotive work, plumbing, etc. The male Trompels were expected to have rough hands, rough senses of humor, and no time for sweetness or grace. Exhibiting grace or gentleness was begging to be called FAGGOT or SISSY. 

John Trompel was different. He was full of grace, he smiled and laughed, he delighted in the emotions of those around him. He wrote love notes to his wife, to his children, to his grandchildren. I still have one in which he referred to my infantile giggle as “a heartsong, the reason for human creation.”